What I have done

So I realize I am becoming the one thing I have always despised. The friend that no matter what would always come through, would aide and assist in the most egregious situations, the one person that would be relied upon and assist in that manner. The reality is that I have failed, and not only have I failed, I failed which led to some terribly drastic and almost cataclysmic results. There is a friend of mine who watched over me on my 21st birthday when I had 21 shots, the poor guy stayed up with me until 6:00 AM. I have found out that that man would walk through hell and back for me. I realized today that that same guy had severe depression, needed someone to help him out last semester, I was physically with him once a week, and he was calling out to me, and I had no idea. I was blinded by my own problems that I never heard his cries of assistance. He was trying to tell me he was lonely, that he needed a friend, that he was holding on by a thread, I never cared enough to help. This is the person whom I despise, the one who never reciprocates, the one who never pays attention to the minor signs/indicators. I have let down quite possibly one of the greatest and most loyal friends I have ever known and I can never take that back or get that opportunity. I hope to find the strength to help him further himself this time around and perhaps make a difference, I will mend this injustice as best I can.